Stop.Rewind.Play

It’s surprising what difference age and experience can make…

            I still remember as a kid how I never could fit into the group, my cousins from out of town, formed. I mean, I didn’t understand their jokes or what showing the middle finger meant when I was in 6^th grade. I didn’t have or play the most raved games. Do we even have to get started about slang???? I mean, for reasons of my own, I never got the exposure they did. And it hurt me a lot those days that I was always their “madrasi” cousin. Just that, and nothing more. Just someone who scored the highest grades. Told my mother everything and was a crybaby. The kind of child their parents wanted them to be like. Miss goody two shoes. Just someone they saw once a year and had to live with just because we were related. I never made any difference. I always felt really bad about why my parents weren’t like theirs. Cool and understanding and free. But I must say, their parents always made me feel a part of their family. They are actually my cousins who just happen to be wayyy older. So technically, their kids are my nieces and nephews. Not my cousins. I did develop a lot of my insecurity and fears back then.

            But now when I think about it, it seems really stupid and lame. I think now I can have a decent conversation with my nephews and nieces without feeling out of place. It’s true that I still don’t get half the stuff they talk about. But both of us are older to know better. To know it doesn’t make as much a difference as it did earlier. I’m not “cool” among them. But I’m still their coolest aunt. Lol. 

            What really got me thinking about this is when one of them called me from abroad to wish me on my birthday. The surprising part was we were able to have a fun/funny conversation for more than 15 minutes. I suddenly didn’t feel left out. I suddenly felt, hell yeah. My family’s pretty cool. I can’t believe I didn’t make enough of an effort to talk to them earlier. It all depends on if you can still manage to keep in touch and tolerate each other despite your differences.

            One big factor in being able to get along with everyone is to keep your mind open. To not be judgmental. And to not have preconceived notions about them or they place where they’re from. Try it, and you might be surprised. That’s probably why I have friends from all walks of life. Different age groups. And it’s totally fine. You needn’t understand what they do or why they do it. You just need to accept people as they are and laugh it all away. Also, be frank. Be yourself. People will appreciate you for that. And learn to laugh at yourself too. It’s called being a sport. And oh, learn to keep secrets. (I’m still trying and learning)

            Friends sometimes comment on how everyone likes to call me and unload all their problems or whatever. Hey, maybe you’re busy. Maybe you’re not interested. But the fact is, you can still listen and always have in mind what a difference it would make to them to be able to talk to someone. Imagine yourself in their place and then it works just fine. Yes, sometimes people annoy you, take you for granted, and toss you around. But it’s all part of the game. Surely I’ve done that to people at some point or the other.

            It always troubled my ex boyfriend that I could strike up a conversation with anyone. Sort of made him jealous or annoyed cos I was getting along well with his guy friends. Trust me, my intentions were and are perfectly noble. And I always had more guy friends than girls. Always a tomboy. Always felt that all girls could do was gossip, bitch and talk about make up and clothes and lame ass stuff. I was soo totally not one of them. And then I came to a city where I studied in a girl’s college and stayed in a girl’s hostel. I found many more people just like me. And ended up making some really awesome girl friends. I know now that I can count on them more than anyone else. No offence to guys. But you really do think with your dicks. (Most of you. I’m glad I know a few who are better than that)

            My point is, you can get along with anyone. If you want to. And if they want to as well. Just bend the rules a bit. Don’t be rigid. It ain’t getting you no where. Your beliefs are yours. Not to be imposed on others. And remember that others are just like you. The day you understand that you will find your mind a lot freer and your friends will appreciate that. So what if a friend doesn’t party or drink?? You can still have fun. They can become designated driver or someone to rub your back when you throw up. Or better still, they’ll dance with you till the music ends.