I know not which is worse, me leaving or the fact that no one is in the least bit perturbed that I’m leaving. Well there is one person. But all I’m thinking is, after five years here, a million people I’ve met and known, many lives I’ve been a part of, and no more than one person will find anything amiss when I’m gone.
So I haven’t exactly touched anyone’s life even though I’ve spent a million nights crying over so many. Hours spent over the phone comforting so-called friends, parties, get-together’s and yet, nothing. Did I miss something? What is it about me that makes people pretend I’m invisible? Five years wasted and I’m forgotten like a passing face. I’m alive, but forgotten. I wish someone would see that and have a few nice words to say in this troublesome hour. Life is never easy, agreed. But does it always have to be this disappointing?
Or have I just been living in a world of my own with concocted images and perceptions of people and imaginary friends? Were they always like this? Did I fail to see them as they are? One of these days I’ll break and let the tears flow. And even then the only sounds one can hear will be of sobbing and racking cries. Not words of comfort being whispered into my ears…
So in this world of people I know, I’m still all alone. This life will always remain a lonely walk….
